{PROLOGUE}

I hate and love the same stuff.
I'm probably just like you.
Only everything you're not.
Omg,does that even make sense?
Yes!

*loves:
{the rain
{the reflections
{the youth
{the agility
{the high
{the playgrounds

*loathes:
{plastics
{boot-lickers
{sister's watch
{back aches
{bugs

i don't ask for much but,
high-flier
bedroom decorations
certain japanese comics and series
baudelaire series
more mercy
promised good life

Afianne
Blogskins.com
Moargh.de
Romance Box
Getty
 
November 2006[x] December 2006[x] January 2007[x] March 2007[x]

I LOVE MY LOSER <3
She's the best person to talk to when i've been bottling up.

Today, today after school i was fuming but now i'm fine (:
Poor table. It has done no wrong.
And i admire aqilah for her courage and sincerity.
Not many would go back and apologise, i swear.
And it wasn't even her fault that the table toppled upside down
with zhong jie's properties inside.

You go, aqilah!

Right now, i dont know whether it's my place, but i'm trying to
get the class a little more bonded, and i dont know how.
I wanna try designed shirt. again. so far 2 of my designs were out.
total defence. total defence. what in the world.

and oh my goodness im being selfish.

5:36 AM

*****

This is for the g1s who've put in all their efforts:

WE LOVE YOU MANY MANY!

Omg it was such a shock and this win has become a great start to kick off with the year!
I didnt wanna sleep to hold onto the moment but i was too tired (:
It was so heartwarming when our cheers were deafening and everyone's jumping for joy.
Sec ones enjoyed themselves very much. This batch of g1s are the most accomplished ones.
4 prizes , like that's whacked man! How cool!

And when we said "1G1 WE LOVE YOU!", they screamed as a class
"WE LOVE YOU TOO!" Cute, man!

And when i was perfecting their cheers before their performance i screamed at their faces
"If you dont believe in yourselves, dont even dream of winning first place"
And then after their performance, when the snrs and jrns were doing the three cheers,
I heard one of the sec ones saying to me,
"We believe in ourselves."

That's all i needed to hear from my little sisters of 1g1.
We're proud of you!

Tonight, i realised that i was wanted and appreciated really really.
I never realised that for fourteen years.
It's not like nobody told me that they appreciate me or that i have low self-esteem,
but sometimes people dont really mean what they say.
Or that when they say it, it's not like as if it's gonna really happen.
But now, it just felt like something so new. (:

And i love love love 2g1, i dont get it why we have to be seperated in sec 3.
I understand lah but the very thought of it is so unfair.
For a long time, 2g1 has always been together, it's like we dont really need anyone else.
Come sec 3 there are faces i really havent seen before althought they're my batch peers.
Which freaks me out. 3c3's fine. but 2g1's love.

So many 2g1's telling me that they wish we'll be together in the same class.
I feel the same way too.
But we'll always, always stay together come what may.

And the world is so beautiful tonight.

2:23 AM

*****

This is to Jeremy, who went through the toughest time anyone could have imagined, by counting down with me to the end of my birthday err.. day.

WAY TO GO!
STAY IN SCHOOL, DONT DO DRUGS.

8:08 AM

*****

This message was from Khaliesah:

this is something i wrote from the heart.
its not going to be great but i will just start.
we've always been just friends
just a hi and a bye
but now i feel
that there's a connection between you and i
we share the same childhood experiences.
we love the same songs.
we are both happy go lucky people.
but we too have our wrongs.
so now i just have to saythat i'm glad we got closer in someway
and on this very day
i'd just like to wish you a very happy birthday.

She tried sincerely.
That's what made it beautiful.
I love you lots, Khaliesah!!!

7:21 AM

*****

This message was from Khaliesah:

this is something i wrote from the heart.its not going to be great but i will just start.
we've always been just friendsjust a hi and a byebut now i feelthat there's a connection between you and i
we share the same childhood experiences.we love the same songs.we are both happy go lucky people.but we too have our wrongs.
so now i just have to saythat i'm glad we got closer in somewayand on this very dayi'd just like to wish you a very happy birthday.

She tried sincerely.
That's what made it beautiful.
I love you lots, Khaliesah!!!

7:21 AM

*****

A few more ticks till I hear the sound,
A symphony to the change of time;
But lets take this minute to recharge
What i know that's been mine.

This year I learnt aplenty,
Through joy and unwanted pain;
From different people from different corners,
And heres what ive gained:

Freedom equals trust
And trust means honesty
Honesty is linked with love
With that, comes loyalty.

No bond survives without sacrifice,
Sufferings promises a smile;
True friendship comes from sincerity,
We need that once in a while.

Misunderstandings takes you to an end
While independence helps you through
Short-changing adds to nothing
None knows best but you.

Never dream but make it happen,
Dont wait till its gone.
Cherish every single moment,
Like the melody of a song.

I grew stronger with every fall,
Making me who ive came to be.
But lets take a m inute to recharge;
Happy Birthday To Me.

2006 was a very beautiful year, i learnt so much.
That only means...2007 BRING IT ON.
This day , the weather was perfect, i feel fine.
I told my parents not to buy me anything at all - its my first time doing this.
I guess that since im growing up, i might as well be a little more independent.
Im saving money to buy what i want.
Funny, as i grow older, I feel younger and more refreshed.
When midnight came, i received about 14 messages of happy birthdays
and countless of happy new years. And to those 14, I really appreciate it
because i really didnt realise that much will come. Im touched, really.
But i have to say, the best love i received, other from my parents and 2 kisses from Dad,
was from, my friend, Gefrey.

They say there's no better gift than love and friendship.
This was what she wrote to me from the States:

It wasnt something that I thought was plausible
Words weren’t within my contemplation
Penning down a poem was far too a job of what I was not competent of
But I thought. After all it was for someone I valued immensely.
It wasnt about how I was going it put across
But rather of what I was going to put across.
Each word held its meaning right within its very own soul
And every single one was special in its own way.
And the reason beneath it, it was for my beloved friend.
Goners are gone out of my reality, but not out of my memory.
And this goner was a special one, the one I loved the most.
Of all the things I only ask for this Lord
Let her have a wonderful year ahead
With both success and failures but with failures that she can
Learn and nurture from. On this very special day of her own
Bless and shower her with all your love and blessing.
Have a wonderful birthday and a great year ahead.Happy birthday Love.

The very thought that she tried make our friendship more real.
The world needs more people like her. The message was signed with love
and there was a picture of both of us smiling together.
I love you, Gef!

These are the things that are connected one way or another to my birthdays..

And today,

I feel like a child.

And it doesnt matter anymore what happens before this day,

Because today,

I'm at peace with the world.

6:09 AM

*****